Madame Web may be an even bigger critical and financial disaster than Morbius, but let’s give it something: At least it’s not boring.
While it was hard to remember anything that happened in, say, Aquaman 2 — and other mediocre superhero movies of that ilk — five minutes after seeing it, the sheer mind-numbing oddness of Sony’s deranged attempt to ignite a franchise lingers in the memory, whether you want it to or not. We’ve seen endless comic book films, and yet no others feature Dakota Johnson yelling at Ebeneezer Scrooge, editing choices that could come from Willy Wonka’s nightmare boat ride, and Pepsi product placement so blatant it literally kills a guy.
Many are deriving an unexpected sense of pleasure from this ultimate example of a so-bad-it’s-good movie as it’s hard to imagine that what we’ve ended up with was ever conceived by human minds. That’s why folks are becoming intrigued by Johnson’s repeated use of AI when talking about Madame Web. Coincidence? The internet thinks not…
What has Dakota Johnson said about Madame Web and AI?
Everyone pull your best “pretend to be shocked” face as Johnson has confirmed she has no interest in doing a Madame Web sequel. The actress revealed in an interview with Bustle that making the Sony production was “definitely an experience” but that she will “probably will never do anything like it again because I don’t make sense in that world.”
Well, as Johnson’s total disinterest in the property is evident in every frame of her performance, this isn’t exactly a bombshell. What’s more fascinating for many is what she told Bustle after this comment. Explaining her thoughts on why these type of films are failing, Johnson continued:
“You cannot make art based on numbers and algorithms. My feeling has been for a long time that audiences are extremely smart, and executives have started to believe that they’re not. Audiences will always be able to sniff out bullsh*t. Even if films start to be made with AI, humans aren’t going to f*cking want to see those.”
Needless to say, that last sentence has just ignited a new conspiracy theory: That Madame Web may actually have been written using AI, and that was Johnson’s secret way of spilling the beans.
And it wouldn’t be the first time either. Remember when Johnson slipped in another line about Madame Web and AI during her SNL opening monologue?
Dakota Johnson jokes on SNL that Madame Web is "like if AI created your boyfriend's favourite movie" pic.twitter.com/ltevGMNedF
— Heroes Unbound(@HeroesUnbound) January 28, 2024
Madame Web is like “if AI created your boyfriend’s favorite movie,” according to Johnson’s quip. Well, that does sound like something a Hollywood studio would be eager to do, doesn’t it? But Madame Web couldn’t actually have been written by AI… Could it?
Was Madame Web written with AI?
Honestly… no. On the one hand, it may seem like the words spoken by the unfortunate cast of Madame Web could not possibly have been dreamed up by a human mind. I mean, you don’t need to look hard for Exhibit A: The infamous “He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died” line. Look at that hideous sentence structure and try and tell me that isn’t the first sign of the robot uprising.
And yet, it’s important to note that Madame Web doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Its bizarre dialogue starts to make a lot more sense when you remember it comes from the same screenwriters, Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless, who wrote the equally batty Morbius. Not to throw the pair entirely under the bus, though, as Claire Parker and director S.J. Clarkson are also credited on the film, so it seems they wrote the final version of the script, which is believed to have changed right the way through production (as virtually all of Ezekiel Sims’ lines being dubbed can attest to).
All in all, blaming Madame Web‘s sins on AI is the easy way out. This one is a human crime and we must accept that and learn from it if we’re to make sure nothing like it ever happens again.
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